Life Goals:
accomplishing all our goals .. together ..as a family ...
Eventual goal we hope happens in our lifetime:
Some day, one day getting back the del Monte land (getting back the original home would be nice as well, but depending on how long it takes, we would settle for just one day getting back the land) - kind of just the principle of the matter at this point.
It was a dream/goal we set out to do and someday, hopefully in one of our lifetimes, it will be accomplished.
Though right now,
that's on the back burner ...
some day that would be nice,
but I guess that is last priority now .....
not nearly as much a high a priority as learning how to write a grant and or a fundraiser to get the funding to be able to just stay afloat to survive right now and to make the aircrete mini home for us to live in, so we can rebuild our Urban Food Forest.
Though right now,
I don't know if we have enough faith to even believe in fundraisers working right now bc right now too many people are suffering right now...
......
I suppose our more immediate goal is figuring out how to get some folks to buy some bodymind sessions from me while eagle works on the website infrastructure for the websites for the nonprofit fundraiser and future mailing lists and community course projects...
Also figuring out how to be allowed to save all of our family's history, everything that was in the del Monte, and everything that is stored at my sister's place.. - Getting it organized so it can be used and the stories told...
It would also be helpful to get some reliable transportation..
Getting some funding to be allowed to continue to live at this hotel while we do everything & pay for some reliable transportation is first priority.
getting the building supplies for the aircrete structure is second priority ..
so figuring out that fundraisers part is the immediate concern .. so eagle can continue to work on website infrastructure needed for our bigger goals...And so we can get started on rebuilding a new food forest and the aircrete structures we can live in and store our stuff in.... and so we can be able to have transportation from where we are to the locations where these will be built...
and sharing videos of our life.. teaching & sharing with others as we learn...
Eagles own personal goals:
AFTER we acquire the funding
to help with transportation,
living expenses ,
and supplies for the aircrete building
1)First Top Priority - Building an aircrete structure of his own design that we can live and stay in on our sisters land, along with some structures we can store our history in so we can make sure it has a safe place to be stored..
(though ideally I'd still like for us to be able to keep this hotel room as well as a home base bc I feel safe and secure here at this hotel -- if we just had more easily and affordable transportation)
2) while this is happening,
establishing a new food forest at my sister's place and on some other pieces of land (again transportation rides would be helpful)
3) sorting through what is at my sisters place and what we were able to salvage from our own home ... so that we can inventory what we have and have it organized so that we can actually utilize what we have...
4) simultaneously and eventually repair my sister's place (this will take a couple of years bc there is a lot that will need to be done) so that it can eventually be rented out so we can eventually bring in some additional income in a few years when that project is done
4) once we have a safe & secure place to live in again,
kiddo also has some personal goals just for himself that we have reassured him that once we are not living week to week/day to day, he will get to continue.
which are:
a)Finish building the epi-florescence module part that he had started making for the microscope community. He was so close to completion and production stage when the all the crap happened
b)Finish building an oblique filter for the microscope condenser - also was so close to nearing the end of completion as well before everything happened, Sigh .
c)Finish creating a microscope of his own design - still at the R&D beginning stages on that one
d)Building a Raman spectrometer - also in the R&D stage
e)Helping evolve some biology that eats plastic (he is keeping an eye on the research development there that other people are doing)
f) finish building his own version of a new microbiology course that teaches the format and the way that he thinks the course should be taught -- so we can bring in some passive income on the side and so he can try his own hand at teaching what he thinks the world should know and know about in that area..
g) finish making the microscope and biotecnic website for his future company idea (this has probably turned into a slightly higher priority for him then the other items since that is the one that will provide the infrastructure for selling the other items) -
-- but unlike normal lay people who would just go out and use some other company's software for that infrastructure, but eagle is learning how to do the design and infrastructure systems from utter scratch himself. so he can fine tune it and design it all to his own specifications.. and with the ideas that he has in his own mind)
(Kiddo is a designer (and on occasion a teacher) at heart and soul, (but mostly a designer constantly ever designing nonstop) who sees ideas, of how and where he wants to change or improve on an idea... and who isn't happy until he has permission to go about creating his own versions of how he thinks things should be, lol...)
He is also the one that does all of our website work. He helped me with the :
hopingforagarden.com and bodylisteningworld.com website though they still are not done...
And he is also working on the
EaglesJourneys.com &. ArborCibus.com
Right now though he is learning the infrastructure code to do create his very own software for a mailing list snd community platform rather than using the pre established ones bc he has his own ideas of how it should be done that do not match how the pre-existing site do it. Plus, so long run we do not have pay fees to those other companies , when he believes he can easily create the necessary software that does a better job himself.
Some side goals:
1)teaching folks to love themselves and their bodies as we go through our bodymind listening journey - which we share on your YouTube channels those days we ever bother to check in without ourselves.. as we go on our own fitness body journeys which
we occasionally do for our personal selves, lol .
2) later on when we get some extra time and finance to create it, creating a workers coop that sells a youpon holly tea drink and other oxymel elixer concoction ideas we have... along with selling aome dried and fresh greens supplies of some rather peculiar particular niche greens that grew super well at our old home.... Which we will now have to start all over from scratch now that we lost our garden -- that is saying our cuttings make it through the transfer to the new spaces.. saying we are able to restart our full production.
It is a bit sad, bc We had just gotten our supply levels up high enough to start offering to others just before the move and the freeze which probably killed anything that was left behind. - so it's a bit frustrating that we have to start all over again, but as long as a few cuttingbtat we took with us survive, then it should only take two/three years at most to get our supply up enough again at the levels we need to sell.... especially if we have a greenhouse structure for the future...
Let see - did we leave anything out...
Ah getting to film and record ALL of it all along the way!!!!
Oh yesz there are a couple of other film ideas we would like to be allowed to do..
One film project we would like to do in the future is this crazy hotel/affordable living/ holistic regenerative Urban food forest project mixed in with the non profit idea but all on film or reality YouTube idea .... Basically our arborcibus.com project -
Another one, is that once we are all done with all those other long list of projects,
(and long after grandmom has passed away and we suddenly have freedom to do whatever we want, ) kiddo & I would like to get to try out some two week intensive filming projects where we get to apprentice at different places for two weeks and film every details of it..... or other misc places for two weeks if we could ever find people crazy enough to let us do that.
Some day if we are still alive a decade from now, There are also some regenerative farms we would love to document if they would let us do that. By then, and soem interesting land places on this earth that it might be neat to see in person.. ...though it would be cool if we were millionaires enough by then to afford a real team of editors, filmographers, actual professional equipment etc at that point. Lol..
The Perfect Day:
{where and with whom and how. The starting point for achieving the first life goal...}
Frankly, As long as my mom, kiddo and I are together as a family, as long as eagle got to work to his hearts content learning and trying out his ideas on the computer, as long as i made sure we had enough food to eat and didn't have to be overstimulated by people or being out all day and as long as Mom doesn't have one her moments of digging her heals in of rejection of information presented her..... even if all we got done was one micro step forward in any one tiny goal.. and as long as we have financial hope for the next day, the next week
then many days often end up being close to the "perfect day" for us..
Though I suppose the days that are our favorite days were when in the past the days when Eagle and I got to work on the computer during the day while mom was taking a midday nap, then if we had a ride to whatever location we wanted to work on in late afternoon to early evening, coming back to where we had premade snacks reay to eat while eagle got to go back to working on his designs and I got to rest and then later eagle and I getting to watch a show together after mom became more relaxed after her evening 'moments'...
....
But what makes it more perfect are the days we have a glimpse of hope of being able to raise up enough money to not only feel financially able to do some of our ideasz.... but the dream of one day actually getting to feel financially secure enough to invest in even more projects beyond our own ..
Now that would be the perfect ideal day for us.....
...................
Okay, let's see, next on your list of questions:
Making Videos for you? - sure, maybe, yes?
1st thought - sure, definitelyz maybe? but then not entirely sure what you had in mind?
Celibacy? - I know life well enough to know one cannot say one way or another - there are various concepts ideas things that attract or repel me to the idea ...
I prefer the idea of not being required to be with anyone.
I also prefer the idea of avoiding any more situations where I might possibly be prevented from being allowed to be kind and being allowed to give attention in a giving and physically kind way to people around me. ( Ie. I would be wary of jealous people who wouldn't let me heal others through connection or touch if I felt naturally inclined to do so)
Ie.in a dream world, id like to be able to be like a free sprite....lol...
Basically to reword these two concepts..,
I would prefer to not have to trade sex for money
or if I did end up with someone , ..
I also hope I would not be prevented from helping others . [ I am constantly hearing stories left and right of me of many stories of such situations like that and I would be sad if I ended up with someone who would be instantly jealous if I was physically kind and gentle to another being -- bc in many ways, it is in my very nature to want to heal psyches and people around me with connection, -- both mental, physical and emotionally. ]
In my ideal perfect world,
Yes,--> sure, I would prefer to be allowed to be a celibate healing surrogate girlfriend to people,,,,
----- At least until they found the perfect person that would be the perfect match to their individual needs and temperament..
--- if I could do that for a living, that would probably be my most perfect favorite ideal job....
Only I havent quite figured out how to market that while I am caring for mom full time....
nor do I quite have the confidence on promoting that anymore...though I am working on rebuilding that confidence and grabbing onto any moment where I have a surge of confidence :)
I was just starting to regain the confidence for that just before mom got back into our lives 24/7 ... and even had a couple of semi clients that accepted my offer.
But then my confidence got shot again around COVID time because at the time I didn't recognize my abilities to be able to heal without touch -- since in th old days, my old talent was knowing how to actually touch a soul ... and letting magic heal.
............
These days though.. .. I admit , I am mentally and emotionally exhausted....and try to only give that inner magic I do do .. to try to only give it out in brief spurts -- usually with people and strangers who are peacefully vastly unaware I am doing what I do.
Which thee days, unless I am getting paid for that service, I actually prefer doing it without anyone being aware. ... bc otherwise people then start "expecting and requiring"....
and that is even more exhausting for me when the magic is "required" or "expected" especially when it taken without any kind of payment back of any kind...
Mom expects that from me, which is fine bc her social security is actually what keeps us afloat.
But she often takes a LOT of mental energy for me.. and when I feel afraid of our situation or when I feel doubt and fears, then I don't have as much energy to use these days ...
but I sympathize for her, bc the world is oh so confusing for her.. but bc I am already stressed by our money situationszand fearing more loss, often in the matter of hoursz .... occasionally minutes, I have to excuse myself ..
if it weren't for eagle's help to help me to have breaks as often as I need them I don't know how I would do it....
I have tried to learn how to pace what I give out to both her and Eagle and to others ... to help me last as long as possible, though by evenings, esp if we have stepped outside, my senses processing disorder usually has me fried,
so when we have to interact with the world, I often get burned out fast and must retreat back inside .. preferably to a place where I know eagle and mom are.
watching a show with kiddo in the evening usually regenerates me some. Or dreaming about funding our projects sometimes helps as well.
That way I can be available to help mom through the long evenings and nights.
As long as I get my mornings, or some minutes during the evening to myself, to journal write thoughts to people, or watch a show while I eat something, .. or sometimes just getting some conversation time with just eagle, then I am usually ready to flow energy through again for everyone..... As long as I get to take breaks often and as needed , it helps..
But Right nowz the idea of going places where I don't have easy access to leave when either mom or I get exhausted z often the idea exhausts me befor we even leave, so it's hard to leave places when I know the transportation isn't willing to work with us.... Although usually it's the other way aroundz where our rides don't want to last as long as we want to.... and that's even worse a feeling.. and even harder on me bc it takes so much out of me just to leave a place ...it's incredibly hard on me to leave a location if I don't know with certainty that I can come and go as I please...
That all being said...
going back to the original question of whether I would be intimate with someone again?
I don't know the answer.. I imagine bc of how nature and how life works, there will come a time again bc I am a passionate person.. but I suspect most likely... it will come at a time when it is not expected or required of me...
Now if the question is, can I be that way with someone on command? - I do not know.
There have been some days where a part of me answers --that if it came to that,-- to care for my familyz, that I would and could just as easily be able to do what all women have been asked to do since the beginning of time in this world in order to survive.
Other days, I have thought myself too rebellious to ever be able to do that again.
I apologize.. I really don't actually know the answer. I think it would be unfair to you to promise that to you.
I know I would prefer to be allowed to help you to get your needs met for connection met in all other ways -- at least until the ideal perfect match that you heart and mind and body actually yearned for flowed perfectly right into your arms...
I wish I could just be more encouraging like most women in my position would be...but I also know the minute I felt required to be a certain way, I would probably automatically feel claustrophobic and unsettled and/or uncomfortable at the idea of being required...and it would leave me feeling panicked if I gave you encouragement...
Which sucks.. bc it would be so much easier if I could just be encouraging of that idea... but I feel that would be unfair of me to say yes to... bc I don't know when or where that ability to be that way will come back to me... Or IF and/or When it will ever come back to me in that way ...
Nature says one day it will naturally be something I do?
But I don't know when, or with whom..... And I don't want you waiting and hurting for something I cant automatically just give...
But all the rest of connection.. that I know I can do for people, at least or especially if I know my family is being compensated for that bit of my energy reserves.... Lol.
That would be the dream, lol ..
(For example, emails like these - although I love the journal writing involved when I write back to people ....and think of returning messages as a way of checking in with myself and as a form of "journal writing", but lol despite being enjoyable, they do actually take several hours of my time to write, lol (for example, this one alone has already taken way over three almost four hours of my time from just the writing stage - and that's not included the rereading and editing and thinking stages.. same with the previous email..lol .
It's a super enjoyable valuable block of my time that i enjoyed doing.. but it's something people often take for granted how much time I put into my messages..
it even also takes a teeny tiny amount of some of kiddo's time -- bc I have him read my responses to make sure he doesn't disagree with anything I wrote about him -- to make sure I was relatively accurate in what i wrote about him, lol.. and also to make sure I am at least halfway coherent. (Sometimes my stream of conscious writing can be a little ADHD like... though these days, he rarely edits me and just says "yep, it works or good enough, lol." which means he has either realized that it doesn't matter if I sound coherent... or that I have actually started being more coherent in my writing, lol 😆)
Maybe one day I should put together all the emails I write to people and make a book..lol. Though I imagine I repeat myself a lot,, lol? Maybe one day I should throw it in an AI editor and see if it can do anything with it.. ah , a wistful sigh.
Lots of time these days recently -- now that I have been learning about the world of entrepreneurs..-- where I find myself pondering ideas, wondering how could I turn my time doing what I naturally spend doing and wondering how I could make some income out of it.
Converting whatever I am already doing automatically and turn it into an income stream -- its still a relatively new concept for me... that I am trying to wrap my brain around.
But such a fascinating concept.... But how to make it so a stranger would be interested in buying and paying for my thoughts.. ? now that's the next trick to learn, lol, sigh ... 😆
Dec no Jan no Feb 2026 a response to someones questions about us....
3:07 am
PayPal.me/krineteagle
Cashapp : $krineteagle
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