GiveSendGo/HopingforaGarden
keep envisioning that somehow either someone hears what we want to do with our home to help others and helps us to save it/ buy it back from the folks who bought our family's home of over 60 years from my ex. -- that somehow they have been prevented or stopped from trying to kick our family out.
or maybe our two fundraisers are a succees, or maybe some other way that is still yet unknown --- but however it happens where years down the road, we are still getting to live here,in our family's home of over 60years.. that our history of all that we have in the home still exists..
that NONE of our history gets lost during their attempts to try to evict us from our home.
we keep envisoning that somehow our battle has been won, and that somehow we have managed to buy back the home from those people who had bought it from my ex .. and now, now with strength and continuity of the history of our home, and it's healing that it provides us, we are then finally able to give forth again ,, and share that strength we get from our home .. and finally feel safe enough to be able to give back healing to others again from within our home - throughout the many years ahead!
... ... and our living room is now open again to being used as a small but comfortable meditation hall, or a healing dance space, or as a private yoga or private bodymind listening space, both for those visits but also a space for us to make healing videos to teach from within in. but most importantly, a safe place for us that means so much to us that we can then share with others as we invite others over to also heal and learn and benefit from what our home gives us. .
. once a long time ago i had a visionof walking through the living room in this flowing robe dress, barefoot, both after during &before a dsy of healing. Unfortunately all kinds of obstacles come through to block this vision ... but i still keep feeling it.
the vision keeps chanting to me, that this ability to use our home to help heal will reappear... that we will get this home back, finally feeling safe and secure within this space that means so much to us again, finally able to heal from within the space we so value and treasure and love again .... with its strength again..
everytime i envision the future on these exercises, i still keep seeing myaelf having this home space that we treasure so much, to be allowed to rest and reset and recharge in, even years from now..
My innner brain or being and body and spirit know how easy it would be to have this vision come true -- bc its just a matter of finding somoeone who is willing to fund it or finding folks to find the fundraisers for this vision to be a success.
..but I admit it is confusing to me -- bc even though I admit I often find myslf smiling .. as my body, mind and spiriti deeply FEELS this future --
but this also ocnfuses me .. bc my logic brain goes : wait, how can this be, when right now we are currently fighting in the courts an eviction situation from those people who bought the home from my ex..
bc right at this moment , we dont even have enough to give them funds for this current level of rent they are now imposing on us....
and yet when we do these visioon exercises -- that is still what we envison and it still leaves me with the big goody smile .. ( i even videod the smile and put it up on youtube to try to share the glow of joy and happiness that these visions give me..along with some other videos of sharing the tears that come from this battle/ struggle we are having with these people who currently have bought the home from my ex :/. )
my brain starts wondering , how can I have such visions, how can I have such faith? Is it that we will find soemone on here? -- who is willing to help out? or is it that somehow our fundraiser will spontaneously start to be effective?
these internal block or doubt want to keep sneaking in.
I dont want to chase after the goal - like the rumi quote says - but i alao dont want to be complacent, like the show i just watched warned about... I want us to be inviting and to create a safe apace for this vision to materialize..
amd i keep thinkig I am doing that, but then just after I am smiling really big big big, rhe following day something happens externally that leaves me thinking I must be in denial or be delusional, and I start the spiral wondering if I should distrust the vision that leaves feeling so happy?
i keep hoping if i listen enough i will figure out how to remember the wisdoms enough to actuall help the vision to unfold all the way.
i think i need to go bavk & relisten to everything again.
but in the meantime, we ask that you please invite our vision to also exist in your own reality as well... so that if enough of us allow & emcoruage this vision to exist, then maybe the vision will indeed be allowed to find us
and the vision that keeps overriding the current perception of our immediate reality with this struggle we are having with these folks who bought the home from my ex will be overcome ...and we will get through....
if you can help us make this vision a reality? IF someone reading this, if YOU are the other component of this vision.. if you are the other component that is seeking the chance to help us and our family to help save/buy bavk our familys home,
then I do so hope you find us as soon as possible...
-- written by the Krin member of the KrinEagleEstela Family
- Envisioning & Hoping for Our Garden back..
the words we had come up,
were the words of : healing, hope, peace, love. rejuvenation and the sound of joy.... gratitude...
thank you folks who read these thoughts of what we shared of our story.
thank you for the mental and emotional support.. gratitude that we have one another!
GiveSendGo/HopingforaGarden